After growing up in a Christian household, being immersed in biblical community, and serving and leading within the church, I found myself in a season of not wanting to participate in the "Christian To-Dos". I found it difficult to admit to my mentor and friends not that I just wasn't reading the Bible but that I didn't want to. But then, the more I talked about it, the more I discovered that for many Christians, Bible reading - especially the part of a daily devotional schedule - is one of the big "shoulds" of faith. Many of us have been told that we should read the Bible, but we've hardly ever been told how to stick with it or why we should want to in the first place.
It was at that crossroads of what I knew I was supposed to do and the lack of desire to spend time with Scripture that I discovered my grief. A grief tied together by a false idea that every quiet time needed be remarkable, and a longing to have a deeper understanding I thought I would never achieve. And then I yielded my legalistic thinking and found that this helps us start with grace for ourselves and affirmation of our deep desire to be a person whose life is deeply connected to the Bible.
I let loose of the exact structure and check box mentality and took myself back to the basics and asked the Lord to show me what He needed me to know for the day. I started with a short 5 minutes a day and eventually found a thirst for Scripture. I also let go of the shame I felt for not wanting to read the Bible.
We often forget to reflect, so bringing thought and intention to the why beneath our feelings or choices can be powerful. At first many of us may be tempted to stick a quick shame message here, like: “I know my heart is wicked. I don’t even want to read the Bible anymore. Man, I am a terrible Christian… .”
Wait. We wouldn’t even care about caring if this was the case, right? The very fact that we are bothered when we don’t shows how much we care that we do. That is a profound place to begin. Yes, our very lack of desire might reveal how deep our real desire is. And when we ask the honest “why,” we’ll often gain rich insight into our spiritual experience.
If you're looking for a way to spend daily time in Scripture, try joining the community of believers who are leaning into the Word together on The Daily every weekday morning at 8:30 a.m. on Facebook Live.You can find our current reading plan and directions on how to find our teaching on The Daily webpage.
I'm praying for you friends, to find intentional, intimate, and honest time in the Word of God.