True Confessions of an IBC Staff Member

By Michael Agnew
By Zabdi Piña
By Kristie Davis
By AJ Jerkins
By John Hames
By Makenzie Romero
By Caroline Khameneh
By Victoria Renken
By Kathy Whitthorne
By Dawn Johnson
By DJ Newman
By Mary Weyand
By Rob Nickell
By Kathy Whitthorne
By Nila Odom
By Sherene Joseph Rajadurai
By Kristi Sheffy
By Sharon Arrington
By Sarah Crawford
By Betsy Paul
By Angel Piña
By Elizabeth Piña
By Justus George
By Lori Kuykendall
By Chris Kuykendall
By Matt Holland
By Courtney Grimes
By Jessie Yearwood
By Brian Severski
By Brian Arrington
By Sandhya Curran
By Will Meier
By Clint Calhoun
By Jen Mayes
By Alf Laukoter
By Neil Wiersum
By Jim Henry
By Jenn Wright
By Kevin Harwood
By Nandi Roszhart
By Leah Vanhorn
By Janett Miller
By Isaac Harris
By Charlyn Valencia
By Chad Golden
By Jonathan Cortina
By Kuruvilla (K.O.) Oommen
By John Dyer
By Abe Paul
By Lauren Geppert
By Jennifer Durrett
By Penny Jones
By Jill Asibelua
By Jared Barnett
By Paul Martin
By Norm Headlam
By Kristi Herring
By Sissy Mathew
By Shannon Pugh
By Melanie Mechsner
By Michelle Garza
By Armando Galvan
By Jeremiah Betron
By Camille Holland
By Rod Myers
By Crystal Elwell
By Darcy Peterson
By Jason Elwell
By Amy Aupperlee
By Barry Jones
By Bryan Eck
By Tricia Kinsman
By Nat Pugh
By Sarah Kemper
By Dana Myers
By Craig Pierce
By Jim Woodward
By Andy McQuitty
By Pete Hyndman
By Kevin Dial
By Catherine & Elizabeth Downing
By Gerald Ridgway
By Jill Hoenig
By Sunitha John
By Tarrin Henry
By RozeLee Rugh
By Beverly Hogan
By Kendra Cordero
By Lisa Gajewski
By Bonnie Goree
By Young-Sam Won
By Chris Beach
By Tom Rugh
By Nick Vuicich
By Andy Franks
By Lead Team
By Jason Roszhart
By Harvard Medical School
By Justin K. Hughes, MA, LPC
By Sherene Joseph
By Earl Davidson
By Rebecca Perry
By Joe Padilla
By Christian Melendez
By Bruce Riley
By Isaac Harris
By Amy Leadabrand
By Ben Haile
By Shaun Robinson
By Natalie Franks
By Cathy Barnett
By Ryan Sanders
By Casey Pruet, The Grace Alliance
By Sharon Arrington
By Lauren Chapin
By Betsy Paul
By Alberto Negron
By Kelly Jarrell
By Michelle Mayes
By Jenn Wright
By Jill Jackson
By Terri Moore
By Robyn Wise
By Katherine Holloway
By Richard Ray
By Kurtlery Knight
By Bruce Hebel
By Neil Tomba
By Tony Bridwell
By Grayson McGovern
By Luke Donohoo
By Kathy Whitthorne
By Mike Moore
By Wade Raper
By Mike Gwartney
By Jo Saxton
By Dieula Previlon
By Jonathan Cude
By Ken Lawrence
By Jay Hohfeler
By Barb Haesecke
By Lindsay Casillas
By JoAnn Hummel
By Shawn Small
By Alice McQuitty
By Jonathan Murphy
By Peggy Norton
By Brent McKinney
By Irving Bible Church
By Irving Bible Church
By Ashley Tieperman
By Betsy Nichols
By Trey Grant
By Debbie Lucien
By Sue Edwards
By Suzie Robinson
By Paul Smith
In eLetter
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True confessions of an IBC staff member: I love my husband, but I haven’t always liked him.

Prior to having children, I actively slept through alarms on my phone, and even fire alarms in our apartment building. Nothing would wake me. But then our daughter Emma Ruth came home and slept in a crib less than eight feet away from our bed. And I woke up every single time she moved. Coughed. Snored. Or whimpered.

She’d wake crying for a feeding, and I’d pretend I was asleep. Because every parent knows that the first adult to shift in bed has to respond, right? I’d wait. 30 seconds. A minute. Two minutes. Jason didn’t even stir. How dare he pretend to also be asleep! Didn’t he understand how exhausted I was?

Unable to bear her heartbreaking littles cries for more than a few minutes, I’d get up and feed Emma Ruth, sure that I was winning the award for “most self-giving spouse.” (Moms, you know what I’m talking about.)

Eventually Emma Ruth started sleeping through the night, and those sleepless nights were forgotten until a few weeks ago when I read an article saying that moms’ brains are uniquely hardwired to immediately go into “alert” phase and respond when she hears the cries of her children. Dads, on the other hand, didn’t wake up as often in the study, and their brains didn’t go into “alert” phase as quickly. Shocked, I asked Jason if this was true. Had he been pretending to be asleep, or had he actually not woken up?

He responded that he hadn’t heard a sound (noise-canceling AirPods might have also had something to do with that). And just like that, suppressed resentment and disappointment I’d been holding onto disappeared. I’d had unspoken expectations. I’d made untrue assumptions. I’d believed something to be true about Jason without even discussing it with him. I was the guilty one in need of forgiveness.

Let’s be honest. Marriage is a call to die to self. It’s a call to become one and to love each other with the love of Christ. And we all fail at it, daily—me included.

We are not perfect, and we don’t love perfectly. But thankfully, God has not left us alone. He’s given us the Holy Spirit—God with us—to teach us how to love one another. He’s given us the church—the body of believers—to encourage and support us along the way. He’s given us the Bible—his living Word—to show us his character and to invite us into marriages marked by flourishing. And if you’re married, he’s given you your spouse—to show you what it looks likes to love an imperfect person unconditionally and be transformed in the process. (Hint: Your spouse loves an imperfect person also.)

Marriage is hard, and there is beauty to be found. If you’d like encouragement, hope, and practical next steps for your marriage, join us for the Essentials of a Biblical Marriage class, kicking off Sunday, April 3, during the 9 a.m. service. Through a combination of teaching, discussion, and reflection, it’s my prayer that you’ll laugh, be challenged, and continue building with your spouse a thriving marriage that lasts. All imperfect people are welcome.

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